PRAY: No More Prayer-Guilt, Part II
Why does the mention of prayer evoke so much guilt? I believe it happens because prayer has so much power. That’s why the enemy of our souls wants to convince us we’re not good enough, smart enough, or godly enough to pray. Helllooooo? What’s wrong with this picture? Don’t we pray because we want to have a relationship with God? It’s hard to get to know someone unless you talk to him. But where in Scripture does it say anything about being good enough, smart enough, or godly enough to approach him? Yes, he says we need to have “clean hands and a pure heart.” But where do we receive these? We run to him. Yet somehow, this lie of the enemy persists. We hear about a Mother Teresa or a Corrie ten Boom and, because our faith-life doesn’t look exactly like theirs, we wonder if our prayers matter. We remember all the times we should have prayed and didn’t, all the times we meant to pray and forgot, all the times we heard someone else’s prayers that sounded better, smarter, or more godly than ours. We feel guilty—so we don’t pray. And the enemy has us exactly where he wants us. Have you read the story in Luke 18 about the tax collector and the Pharisee? When we read this passage, we tend to focus on the Pharisee and his self-righteousness. Scripture says he was praying “to himself.” Those words point out his misplaced focus. But I think we have the wrong focus, too, when we fail to examine the tax collector’s prayer. Do you remember how it begins? “God, be merciful to me, the sinner!” (Luke 18:13d) This man knew he wasn’t good enough. Scripture says he wouldn’t even look to heaven but kept his eyes downward. Maintaining a posture of humility, he “beat his chest.” In that day and in that culture, women were the ones who carried out actions like these. Any man who would do so was intentionally signifying abject lowliness and humility before God. This man also knew he wasn’t smart enough. He doesn’t attempt a fancy, flowery expression of praise. In fact, he can summon no other words—nor does he need to. His choked heart-cry says it all. Finally, our penitent friend knew he wasn’t godly enough. He calls himself “a sinner.” He separates himself from the rest of the congregation not because he thinks he’s better than they are but because he knows himself and his own sin. He begins at a place of weakness and bewilderment, of uncertainty and longing, of sin and sorrow. And what does he do? He cries out to the only One who can help. The next time you’re feeling too weak, too wimpy, or too guilty to pray, recognize the tax collector in yourself. The times you feel the weakest or least spiritual are the times when you most need to pray. Don’t let the enemy’s lies keep you from running to Jesus. After all, prayer helps us know the truth. And truth, as Jesus reminded us, will set us free (John...
read moreWRITE: Critique or Criticism?
Over the past few years, I’ve had many opportunities to advise others on their writing. In my work as an editor, I correct and improve others’ work. As a collaborative writer, I write for those who don’t have the time, ability, or interest to write for themselves. As a book doctor, I work with my clients to take their manuscript from “good” to “great”—from words others can read to words others want to read. And as a writing mentor, I help others learn to view their work from an editor’s eye. This allows them to make needed corrections before someone else does. Last week, I had the opportunity to critique a friend’s short manuscript. I returned it with no small concern because I’d made a few big suggestions and several small ones. Have I gone too far? What will she say? Not only did my friend write back to thank me, but she made two profound comments. I’ll share one today and another in my next “Write” post. Her first comment: “I worked and worked on it, but I have no problem admitting I am just not experienced enough / haven’t learned enough (yet!) to see all the things you pointed out.” My friend displayed a quality I love. It’s the quality I see in those I consider my mentors, and it’s the one I ask God to give me. When she read my critique, my friend didn’t get upset. She didn’t fuss, whine, protest, or complain. She received what I said whether she intended to follow my advice or not (although, as a later draft showed, she did). In all these things, my friend showed that she’s teachable. You may think it obvious that a less experienced writer would want to learn from a more experienced one. That’s not always the case. In interactions with other writers, I’ve witnessed many who argued and complained about corrections to their writing. I’ve heard them refuse to make needed changes. And at times, I’ve done (or been tempted to do) the same thing. We often compare the writing process to delivering a child. Both involve labor. And when that word-baby finally arrives, it’s yours. None other is as wonderful or appealing. And if someone dares criticize your baby? Watch out! The difference comes in perspective. Do we see others’ suggestions as critique or criticism? Critique is offered with a view to improvement. Criticism expresses pent-up emotion. Critique builds up. Criticism tears down. I offer my writing suggestions as critique. And I love it when those who receive my words display a teachable spirit that helps them move forward. Lord, let it be so in me—in my writing work and in any area of my life that requires your guidance and correction. Are you teachable? How do you receive critique or criticism? Share your...
read moreREAD: Review, EXPOSURE by Brandilyn Collins
By nature, I’m a sponge. I soak up emotions, personalities, and spiritual atmosphere wherever I go. God has used this quality to help grow me as both an intercessor and a writer. But it also means that I can’t do some things. I can’t watch scary or intense-action movies (the characters show up in my dreams). I can’t read thrillers. And I certainly can’t attempt to peruse anything close to a horror novel. Except this one. As a writer, my sponge-like traits allow me to soak up and learn whatever I can from other writers’ websites, blog postings, etc. One such helpful site belongs to author Brandilyn Collins. I have long appreciated her heart for God and the wisdom she offers to others. One day, her blog post touched my heart so much that I sent an email to thank her. I told her I was a prime candidate for her “Big Honkin’ Chickens Club” but that her thoughtfulness and evident character had convinced me to read at least one of her novels. Brandilyn sent a thoughtful note in return. She also sent me a book. So yes, it’s possible the review is tainted by the kindness of Brandilyn’s gift—but, in view of the genre, I doubt it. So, without further ado: Exposure by Brandilyn Collins (Zondervan, 2009) Since her earliest days, fear has stalked Kacyee Raye. It followed her throughout her childhood, passed on by a mother who jumped at shadows and ran from whispers. It snaked its way through her young adulthood, bolstered by the tragic death of a close friend. And it crept into her writing when she began a popular column about facing paranoia. But which of her fears are real and which imaginary? Kacyee confronts that question when alarming images and mysterious messages appear in her home—on her camera, on her computer screen, and more. Is she crazy? The local police wonder. Kaycee does too. As the incidents and the tension escalate, something has to give. Will it be Kacyee herself? Brandilyn Collins does an amazing job of combining compelling characters with a page-turning plot. Previous reviewers who find Kaycee’s paranoia overdone have little understanding of how past wounds impact present reality. The book’s faith component is light but nonetheless appropriate. I’m not a fan of genres anywhere close to the author’s signature “seatbelt suspense,” but I couldn’t stop talking about this book. Well done, Ms. Collins. After a few more deep breaths, I might venture to pick up another of your titles. And—oh, yes—does this qualify me for the Smaller Honkin’ Chickens...
read morePRAY: No More Prayer-Guilt, Part I
Why do guilt and prayer so often intertwine? We feel guilty when we don’t pray enough. We feel guilty when we promise to pray for someone and forget. We feel guilty when we need prayer. We feel guilty when our prayers don’t sound as profound as those of the person next to us in the prayer group. Do you see the pattern? Satan uses guilt to pull our focus away from God and onto ourselves. I’m learning (albeit slowly) to turn away from that kind of guilt and toward Jesus. When I sin, I seek to confess and forsake it. But I refuse to dwell on guilt when I could pursue my loving Father instead. I use some simple memory tools as a part of my war against prayer-guilt. First, I Do the Math. That means I divide my regular prayer requests up among the days of the week or month—or sometimes hours of the day. I know I can’t pray as effectively if I try to cover too many needs at one time, so I don’t—and I don’t feel guilty, either. For years, our family has prayed for missionary friends and for the nations they serve on different days of the weeks (Americas on Monday, Europe on Tuesday, etc.). I follow the same practice in my personal prayer life. It’s been interesting through the years to see the exciting things God has done on the days and at the times we’ve prayed! You can do the same with requests for friends at church, from work, etc. Divide them up—and multiply the effectiveness of your prayers. I’ve also found a way to become Guiltless by Association, tying tangible objects to my prayers for specific people or situations. When a dear friend was going through treatment for breast cancer, a little brown Pink Ribbon bear sat on my computer monitor. When my fuzzy buddy caught my eye, I prayed for my friend. Another friend who served as a missionary in a closed country made me a bookmark. Its presence in my Bible reminded me to lift her up. Once again, grace replaced guilt. The result? More prayers—and more power. The bonus blessing of those prayer cues is that one prayer leads to more. The math and the objects may have prompted my prayers—but the best memory tool was the prayers themselves. Prayer, like other habits, becomes stronger over time. That’s a great way to eliminate prayer-guilt. And unlike many other habits, it’s one you won’t want to break. As you can see, I use simple tools for a simple heart and mind. What prayer prompters help you? Share them, and we’ll learn...
read moreWRITE: Quad-Cities Christian Writers’ Conference–My Favorite Things
My blog followers may recall that I had the recent honor of teaching at my first writers’ conference. Twila Belk founded the Quad-Cities Writers’ Conference in Eldridge, Iowa a few years ago with the encouragement of author and writers’ benefactor Cecil Murphey. The QCCWC was a weekend to remember in many ways. We kicked off the conference with a stunning faculty rendition of “My Favorite Things,” parodied for publishing by Twila’s sweet assistant, wonderwoman Gail Smith. Here, I offer a less poetic version: #10. FANTASTIC FOOD: I heard this comment repeated often by students and faculty alike. Delicious homemade soup and desserts, a full salad bar, snacks—both healthy and not-so-healthy options abounded. #9. GREAT GIVEAWAYS: Conference sponsors allowed Twila to share multiple copies of both fiction and nonfiction books (not to mention the ubiquitous Christian Romance T-shirts and mugs) at every general session.#8. APPROPRIATE ATTENDANCE: As with many conferences, registrations were down this year. The venue, although reasonably sized, held a few hundred–not thousands. Smaller numbers helped produce a warm, intimate experience. #7. REMARKABLE RESOURCES: Twila asked faculty members to submit recommended resource lists and offered many of their choices in the conference bookstore. Faculty members and conferees also sold and signed their books. My ghostwriter status doesn’t allow me to market much of my work, but in this atmosphere, I could and did. #6. MARVELOUS MP3s: The conference registration fee included an MP3 of every speaker and seminar. This avoided dilemmas (“How can I choose between so many wonderful sessions?”) and allowed the blessings of professional instruction to extend beyond the weekend. #5. CONCENTRATION on CRAFT: Per Cecil Murphey’s recommendation, no agents or editors attended in an official (manuscript-reviewing) capacity. This freed conference participants to focus on improving their writing without the pressure of competition or self-promotion. They also had the opportunity to submit manuscripts ahead of time and, for a reasonable fee, receive a full critique and half-hour appointment with the critiquing faculty member.#4. SUPERB SPEAKERS: Each of the three keynoters (Cynthia Ruchti, Jim Pence, and Jim Rubart) shared messages that inspired and encouraged writers from beginning to professional levels. I’m in awe of their hearts, their talents, and their desire to help others grow and improve. #3. TERRIFIC TEACHERS: QCCWC may not be the biggest conference around, but the faculty was top-notch. In what other small conference could you learn story techniques from veteran mentor Frank Ball or marketing strategies from longtime pro (and breakout novelist) Jim Rubart? Conference participants also had opportunities to interact with faculty members at mealtimes, in personal appointments, and beyond. I was blessed to count myself the least of these among this group of top professionals. #2. SWEET SPIRIT: I’ve sometimes sensed a “published and proud of it” attitude among writers, but this conference was diva- (and divo-) free. Encouraging words and attitudes abounded, a credit to Twila and her ever-so-supportive staff. #1. HOLY HUSH: Gail Smith’s three-word description of the conference was “God showed up.” I agree. His presence wove a divine thread throughout the weekend that delighted us all. You had to be there to experience it. Writers and writer wannabes out there—I pray that in 2011, you...
read moreWelcome
I've asked God to use my writing and speaking to count for eternity. I'm passionate about relationships and creativity.
