Snapshots of Dementia: My Favorite Things

Posted by Marti on June 17, 2022 in Caregivers, Dementia | 4 comments

Some of my posts carry a lot of emotional weight, last week’s being a good example. Since living with dementia itself carries a lot of emotional weight, in order to present accurate snapshots, I do my best to let you see what I see and even feel what I feel. 

But sometimes, what I feel is not sadness but love and light. Back in our child-rearing years, God sometimes allowed me to step outside of the chaos and catch a glimpse of the beauty. He does that with dementia too.  

So, lest you think we’re living in constant heartbreak, please know that we also have times of genuine joy. 

I find that joy when: 

— Our primary care physician speaks to Tom as a real person, laughs at his humor, and waits patiently for his responses. 

— Our four-year-old grandson can’t wait to go bowling with Grandpa. 

— Our young worship pastor shows respect for Tom’s musicianship as well as his sense of humor. 

— We spend the morning running errands, which will wear Tom out for the rest of the day, and he tells me, “This was the best day ever.” 

— Tom expresses amazement when I find something, usually his reading glasses or the TV remote, that he’s lost for the fourth time in an hour. 

— A friend texts us just to check on us and remind us how much we mean to her. 

— Our nearby children invite us to meet them for a spontaneous meal or other treat. 

— Our farther-away children call or video chat with us.  

— The staff of our local library gives every indication of helpfulness and no indication of annoyance when Tom gets confused during the checkout process. 

— Our senior pastor refers to him as “Pastor Tom.”  

— Tom finds delight in a simple meal because for him, simple is good. 

— A doctor or other medical staffer looks at the whole picture of his health rather than pulling out one specific element. 

— Tom blows a few notes on his trumpet or gives our son advice about how to play a particular song. 

— Our oldest daughter hand-picks two of her students to help her build a walk-in turtle pen so her dad will stay safe when caring for his beloved box turtles. 

— We visit a nursing home with our church’s senior adult choir, and Tom not only sings beautifully but speaks words of encouragement to every resident he meets. 

— I look forward to some time away, knowing our youngest daughter, with help from her siblings, will keep Tom both happy and healthy while I’m gone. (More about that in my next post.) 

If you’re a dementia care partner, what brings you joy? Share your thoughts in the comment section below or on social media. Our story matters—and so does yours.