Snapshots of Dementia: 1 Corinthians 13 for Dementia Caregivers
Note: My favorite (and only) niece was married this past weekend in a lovely ceremony that included a reading from 1 Corinthians 13. Thinking back on our wedding, where that same passage was read, moved me to write the following paraphrase specifically for caregivers of those living with dementia (“person LWD” in the paraphrase below).
If I know all about dementia and can discuss my person LWD’s situation, but do not have love, I become a voice my person LWD would rather not hear.
If I’ve done all sorts of research and understand what my person LWD and I are facing, and if I have faith to believe God can change it all, but do not have love, it matters not.
And if I make all sorts of sacrifices, changing my work, adjusting my priorities, and rearranging my schedule on behalf of my person LWD, but do not have love, I haven’t helped anyone in any way.
Love is patient when my person LWD forgets what I’ve said only moments before. Love is kind when my person LWD does something that will cause me extra work. Love is not jealous of the extra attention my person LWD receives from family or friends. Love does not brag about what a great job I’m doing as a caregiver; instead, love recognizes and affirms both my personal imperfections and my prayerful dependence on God.
Love does not speak to the person LWD in private in ways it would not want known in public; it does not manipulate situations toward its own selfish outcome; it stays calm when the person LWD becomes agitated; it does not keep a mental list of how much it has sacrificed and how many times it has served.
Love does not rejoice when others do things it considers wrong or inappropriate in relating to the person LWD; instead, it takes delight when more people appreciate the person LWD and want to build a relationship with that person.
Love preserves the dignity of the person LWD; it never stops believing and hoping for the best while enduring even the worst of situations.
Love never fails the person LWD. After all, any special insights and learning about dementia will one day disappear, as will the distinctions between those LWD and those not.
Like the person LWD, we have only a partial understanding of the mystery that is the mind. But one day, all of our earthly concerns will fall away, and God will restore everything lost or broken.
Long ago, my person LWD set aside their childish ways. But today, more and more, they are speaking, thinking, and reasoning like a child.
Today; I understand only a tiny part of what my person LWD is experiencing; one day, I will have full understanding—and so will they.
So many elements are fading from my person LWD’s life; faith, hope, and love remain; these three. Yet in every situation we encounter—past, present, and future—the greatest is love. —1 Corinthians 13:1-12, author’s paraphrase for those caring for someone LWD.
