Stories & Reflection

Physical illness has a way of draining our spiritual reserves. Today’s Out of the Dust devotional discusses a time when God met Avis in a time of deep physical need.

#6 Unshaken

Scripture Reading: I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure (Psalm 16:8).

Thought: No matter what happens to us, God’s presence comforts and sustains us.

Excerpt from Out of the Dust: As a young mother, I was still learning more about God. And once again, He used pain to send His message.

The Lord was opening my eyes to the truth, but I still didn’t have a total commitment. I thought I could be a Christian under my own power – until something happened that took away my strength.

At first, I didn’t realize I was ill. But soon I couldn’t get out of bed, and doctors diagnosed me with pernicious anemia. Vitamin B-12 shots helped, but only for a while. Tests showed I had many more white blood cells than red, and I stayed in bed for months, growing weaker and weaker.

I felt so isolated. I itched all over and had unbearable pain. My eyebrows and much of my hair fell out. What’s happening? If I die, who will take care of my children?

I couldn’t count on Wayne, although for now, he was trying to help. I started making deals with God, but I stayed sick. Very sick.

What’s wrong? I’m a good girl. Bad things aren’t supposed to happen to me.

I pleaded with God. “Lord, you know I don’t understand. And no matter what we do, I’m not getting any better.” I added my most serious words yet. “If you’re not going to heal me, take me. Tonight. Please. Just go ahead and take me. I’m ready.”

At midnight, I waited. Nothing happened.

When I didn’t die, I yelled. “I’m nothing,” I told the Lord. “I’m worthless! Why would you even want me? Live or die; it’s up to you.”

Finally, I gave up. I couldn’t get out of bed, let alone fix my situation. In my mind, you had to do something to be worth something. And I could do nothing.

That’s when the visions began. For about two weeks, every time the pain became unbearable, I saw a bubble at the foot of my bed with Jesus inside. When the pain came, so did Jesus and the powerful sense of His presence. I had felt so alone, but now, I understood: He is with me.

I remembered the Bible said He has laid all our sickness, pain, sins, shame, and guilt upon Him. He knows. He feels my hurt and isolation. I now looked forward to the pain, because it meant Jesus would come. (Chapter 7)

Prayer: Thank you, God, that you are always with me. Help me to become more aware of your presence, especially in times of pain or difficulty.

Do you have a question, comment, or prayer request? Feel free to share it below or email me through the link at the top of the page. I’ll respond as soon as I can.

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Read about Avis Goodhart and Go Ye Ministries.