Snapshots of Dementia: I Bowed on My Knees
Tom directs an outdoor Christmas choir performance, c. 2014 How it’s going: — Tom asks for help much more often with the word games he plays on his iPad; sometimes he can’t fill in any of the missing letters or words on his own. — At bedtime, he sits on the side of the bed, staring into space, until I tell him it’s OK to lie down and go to sleep. — He occasionally tries to tell me about something that bothers or upsets him, but his sentences make no sense. The prediction his neurologist made last year was accurate: Tom’s decline has been more rapid this year than in the past. He’s had two major falls in the last three months, although neither caused severe injury. In short, life has become more challenging for him and for those of us who love him. But none of this either surprises or challenges God. My late friend and writing partner, Walker Moore, used to remind those in difficult situations, “The heavenly Father is not calling an emergency meeting over your life.” I know this still applies to my husband. Last Thursday, as we do twice a month, we traveled with the Joy Singers (senior adult choir) from our church to a local nursing home. We spoke with the residents for a few minutes before presenting our usual mini-concert of popular hymns and old-time Sunday school favorites. And then it happened. Our minister of music began the solo that ends most of our sessions, “I Bowed on My Knees and Cried Holy.” I stood with my fellow choir members, eyes closed for part of the time, as we listened and worshipped. But Tom was looking straight ahead. And as he did, he noticed tears rolling down the face of one of our fellow choir members—not an uncommon response to this song, which describes a Christ-follower’s first moments in heaven. Before long, he whispered to me, “I want to go over and sit with that lady” (whose name he doesn’t remember). Of course, I told him that was fine. He walked over to join her on the little couch where she and one of the residents sat. Before long, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders as tears poured down his face, his concern obvious to all. I don’t think he said anything, but he didn’t need to. The sense of awe this song brings us grew exponentially; we all sensed we were watching God at work. As the song finished, he gave our friend a final comforting hug and returned to my side. We and our fellow choir members spoke with a few more residents before leaving for lunch at a local...
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